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2 years ago

Cherish Your World

A huge thank you to Jeff Wasserstrom of JAW Dropping Promotions for his support and collaboration to create this beautiful gift book of 100 tips. This gift book is dedicated to Jeff Young, the LinkedIn Guru, who encouraged us to post weekly on Linkedin and inspired me to write these, to Ken Lazar of Ability Professionals, who allowed me to share many of these tips each week at Tuesday Tune-up, and to all my friends from Tuesday Tune-up. who appreciated them. I am forever grateful to all of you. You kept me going forward and strong-more than you'll ever know- through the most difficult time period of my adult life. With heartfelt gratitude and joy, I present my second book. ... See MoreSee Less

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2 years ago

Cherish Your World

Tip of the Week-Cherish Your World

Clear All Types of Clutter
Often physical, emotional, or mental clutter blocks quality life experiences. Being vulnerable and courageous in releasing even one of these types of clutter allows for growth and sometimes the emergence of inspiration. Bravely begin to take steps to clear a pathway, and see what emerges.
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2 years ago

Cherish Your World

Artifacts of Unfinished Business
Part One in a Five-Part Series on the Types of Clutter

In my consultations, talks, workshops, and conversations, our discussions often turn toward clutter, and with good reason: Clutter collects in almost every home and workspace, and it has tremendous negative impacts on the people who are surrounded by it.

But when we talk about clutter, we are often talking about very different things. Clutter comes in different types, each fueled by different thoughts, impulses, and habits. The types of clutter also affect us differently, and they require different clean-up strategies. Clutter tends to fit into the following types:

• Artifacts of Unfinished Business: This clutter consists of ignored items connected to projects that you haven’t started or haven’t finished. These might include supplies for home improvement projects or boxes you need to unpack or sort through.
• The Unloved Ones: This clutter consists of belongings that were once used, needed, or loved (or all of these), but now they gather dust and have for months or even years.
• The Needed but Jumbled Items: This clutter is made up of belongings that you need and use regularly, but they are in disarray. These items require some organization to be sensibly placed and easy to access when they’re needed.
• Just Too Much: With this clutter, you have too much of a particular type of item (such as books or collectibles) or too many items of various types. Sometimes these items fill a room and you cannot move freely through it. This type of clutter is common in junk rooms, attics, basements, and drawers. Hoarding is the extreme expression of this type of clutter.
• The Wandering Nomads: These are items that have been placed in a room or another space whose purpose they don’t serve, as with library books piled on the kitchen table. The items are easy to find—but they don’t belong where they are, causing incongruity in the space where they now “live.”

In this essay, we will explore artifacts of unfinished business: clutter associated with projects we intended to begin or began and then stopped. This clutter includes the art supplies from a neglected hobby that lie shoved in a corner, the half-finished deck at the back of the house that sighs as we walk by, the broken furniture in the basement that awaits restoration work, and the piles of unread books that hold worlds we once wanted to explore. Sometimes these items silently nag at us, reminding us of all the things we wanted to do—or thought we should do. In other cases, the items have languished for so long that we don’t even notice them; they become the suppressed scenery in the backdrop of our spaces.

At a recent talk I attended, the presenter spoke about the “creative avoidance” involved in procrastination. Rather than tackle things that are difficult but important, such as unfinished projects in our homes, we spend time on other activities instead. These distracting activities might feel good in the short term, but they do not deliver the results we actually want. Procrastination can have real consequences for us even beyond the results we don’t achieve. Unfinished tasks can fill us with self-doubt, fear, and shame as time goes by; we know what we aren’t doing and sometimes why we aren’t doing these things. This can dampen our sense of accomplishment and creativity.

Why do we have these artifacts of unfinished business? Sometimes we genuinely lack the time to do the projects. At other times, we struggle with unfocused enthusiasm or lack of intention. Some people like starting projects but not following through. And sometimes life challenges force us to put projects on the back burner.

At its core, most clutter is about fear. We may fear not being good enough or not having enough in the future. We might be worried about having too little time and money. With unfinished business, we may fear that the finished product will be disappointing, causing us to wish we hadn’t spent time and money on it. Maybe we fear that we don’t know enough or that we can’t get the needed support to complete the project.

Others in our homes often know what our unfinished projects are, and they may be visibly annoyed. Sometimes our loved ones remind us of the projects we haven’t tended to. This can add another layer to the feelings of shame, inadequacy, or resignation, if these feelings are in play.

When we resist completing unfinished business despite pushback by our loved ones, this can point to other interpersonal issues. We may be ignoring these projects, our self-care needs, and even the important people in our lives as we distract ourselves. Or we may be engaged in a power struggle with another person in the home. The unfinished-business clutter can represent our resistance to being controlled.

In other situations, we think thoughts that are not true about the unfinished business; these thoughts seem true because they are stories we have repeated. We tell ourselves that the task will take too long, cannot be solved, or “I don’t know where to take these things”—to name just a few of our unproductive stories.

Oprah Winfrey says, “Life whispers to you all the time. Your life is speaking to you all around, from the time you wake up in the morning, in every single experience that’s coming into your personal space. All of those experiences are speaking to you. They’re telling you something about your life and about your circumstances. It whispers, and if you don’t get the whisper, the whisper gets louder.” In feng shui, the incomplete tasks in our physical spaces whisper to us even when we try to ignore them, and sometimes that whisper becomes a shout. A shocking or urgent event can be the “shout” to break us out of our patterns of resistance. A serious health challenge, the passing of a loved one, or a calamity can wake us up, and we act with focus and urgency.
A friend of mine shared that she had been asking her husband to clear out a section of the garage for years so the family’s cars could fit inside, and he had many excuses for why he couldn’t do it, such as “There’s nowhere to put all this stuff” and “We can never fit another car in the garage.” His daughter’s vehicle remained parked outside of the garage, getting covered with snow in the winter and becoming uncomfortably hot in the summer. Then one day, a severe thunderstorm warning with the strong possibility of hail spurred him into action. He envisioned the hail damaging his daughter’s car, which she had not yet finished paying off.

Thirty minutes later, he had cleared an entire section of the garage and parked his daughter’s vehicle there. The sandbox of their children’s early years left the property. (The youngest child was 14 and the eldest was 24; no one had used that sandbox in years.) His daughter’s vehicle escaped damage when the hail did indeed pelt their neighborhood soon after he pulled her car into the garage. All his previous excuses evaporated when he realized this greater cost, and he worked swiftly with intention and purpose.

What creates urgency when there isn’t a thunderstorm rolling into our lives?

You can often jump-start this sense of urgency by imagining what your home and life can look and feel like free of unfinished clutter. What will it feel like seeing people you love laughing together on that finished deck? How about when you no longer walk by dusty art supplies that told a story of how you don’t finish things you start, or when a piece of furniture is fully restored and the rest of the broken furniture is gone? Let yourself imagine the joy, freedom, and other positive feelings you will have when these projects are completed. (Keep in mind that completion can be you removing the objects associated with projects that no longer fit who you are and what you want to do.)

The “thunderstorm” within you can be as simple as the desire for a pleasant and welcoming home that inspires your creativity, rest, and play. In addition, you may yearn to be free of unfinished business and unburdened by reminders of things undone. When you have this vision of your better life, you can take action to complete these projects or free yourself of the artifacts of unfinished projects.

Actions, even imperfect ones, create results. There’s something powerful about taking a step and then another. This can apply to unfinished business as well: As you take those first steps to address the first project, you can trust that you are making important progress, even when you don’t know how you will complete the other projects (or perhaps even this one). The momentum you create will make each successive step easier.

Here are some suggestions to support your shift from creative avoidance to action dealing with unfinished projects:
• Create a list of your unfinished projects. It may be a bit overwhelming, but it also might light a fire and help you spot tasks that you could accomplish in an hour. You can also prioritize the projects and work with other members of your household to identify which ones will give you the greatest sense of accomplishment and freedom.
• For unfinished-business clutter that is related to things you once wanted to do, ask yourself these questions: What do I really want for myself and my life right now? Can I free myself from this project because it no longer inspires me? Can I give these items to someone else who would love them?
• Choose one unfinished project, and schedule a block of time to complete it. If needed, ask others in your household not to disturb you until it’s done. Alternatively, you can ask for their help in getting it complete.
• Take that first step—any small action. Actually touch the unfinished project or open the closet and take some of the items down and look at them. What do they feel like in your hands? Put the timer on for five minutes and take action until the timer beeps. Then if you feel motivated to continue, set the timer for a longer period—maybe 15 or 60 minutes, depending on your schedule and energy—and keep the momentum going.
• As you make progress, however small, stop to appreciate the boxes that are leaving the house, the overstuffed trash cans, the shredded papers, and the now-repaired household items. You can see yourself as a person who can take actions and get things done in place of those old stories about yourself.
• Ask yourself whether the patterns with your unfinished-business clutter are taking place in other areas of your life as well. Are you neglecting needed medical appointments and other forms of self-care? Are you ignoring issues with loved ones? If so, schedule time to take these self-care actions and take steps to explore and address your loved ones’ needs.
• If it is feasible, consider hiring people to complete the projects that you are least qualified to do or least interested in doing. For instance, you can make a list of several small projects that you have found vexing, and hire a handyman or woman to complete those projects quickly and proficiently. In some cases, the trade-off for time and results makes great sense.
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2 years ago

Cherish Your World

Love Your Space, Love Your Life

Wednesday, July 12, 2107

7:30 pm – 9:00 pm

Thrive Massage and Wellness
4955 N. Hamilton Road
Columbus, Ohio 43230

$10.00/person

Are you intrigued by the possibilities of creating a home you love that inspires your life? Join Laura Staley, certified feng shui consultant and founder of Cherish Your World, for an inspiring and interactive presentation in which you will gain an understanding of the principles and practices of feng shui. Laura will invite you to see your home and life from a fresh perspective. You will leave with clear ideas of what you want to let go of, rearrange, and why, knowing that these steps will enhance the quality of your life.
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2 years ago

Cherish Your World

Lock and Key—Cherish Your World Tip of the Week
If you are having difficulty inserting a key into a lock, use some WD-40 inside the lock to smooth a path for the key. You may not need to call a locksmith. Similarly, you might need to smooth the path to unlock what is inside of your heart. What might you be keeping locked away? You can unblock and unlock what you love and care passionately about in your life.
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5 months ago
Brown Paper Packages Tied Up in Knots: Giving and Receiving Gifts with a Loving Heart - Cherish Your World | Feng Shui Consulting https://t.co/PhkHxuK4YO
5 months ago
The Practice of Patience - Cherish Your World | Feng Shui Consulting https://t.co/5v1lVeoZKB
5 months ago
Turn on the Lights-Tip of the Week - Cherish Your World | Feng Shui Consulting https://t.co/ApPa8AhlQm
5 months ago
Let Go of What was Never Yours-Returning Books, Dismantling Beliefs - Cherish Your World | Feng Shui Consulting https://t.co/Jeu6XxIxTl
6 months ago
Love at the Intersection-Standing for Humanity - Cherish Your World | Feng Shui Consulting https://t.co/Uqm9oENXtK

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Clear Clutter of All Types: Cleansing Your Space and Your Life

 

“Every aspect of your life is energetically anchored in your living space, so clearing clutter can transform your entire existence.” —Karen Kingston

 

Clutter often creates this haze of feeling not good enough and becomes this outward symbol of a certain loss of joy in your life. It’s often an outer expression of some flavor of fear. Even if you had good intentions when you initially brought these belongings into your life or they showed up in your space, clutter often dims your light.

 

The belongings can hold emotional stories that you struggle to resolve. You may think that you are your past and all the objects associated with your past. They may have wonderful associations or heartbreaking meanings, but these belongings are not you. They tell stories about who you were, but they aren’t you.

 

Clutter can show up in your life, as “thorns” in your heart, or activities you no longer love doing. Your heart can be healed from all those “thorns.” Gently pull them out and feel all those difficult emotions. Emotions can show you what you actually care about. You wouldn’t have all these feelings if you weren’t committed to something or someone. The intensity of your grief, anger, or shame often points to the depth of your commitment, your love, and your desire to belong or make a positive difference in our world and this got thwarted for a bit.

 

It’s soul sucking and exhausting to go through the motions of an activity you no longer love doing or maybe never really enjoyed. You may have been really good at it. You do it to fit in and to not disappoint others who benefit from your talents and abilities. And those people may really care, respect, and appreciate you or not so much. Either way, you notice that your heart is not on board. Your heart stands on the beach with a towel, while your body swims fiercely in the waves longing to be on solid ground. It might be time to reunite with your heart and rest in the sand.

 

Sometimes it seems easier to stay connected to things than to people. Things seem to have staying power and people can, in a moment, disappear from our lives. Like a child clinging to a stuffed animal, we can make a deeper emotional investment in inanimate objects than people. These objects usually don’t talk, yell, rage, cry, bully, or walk away. Some creepy dolls might speak, but even then it’s not in the all the ways a human being can.

 

This may be why some people cling so fiercely to books, furniture, knick-knacks, artwork, collectibles, and all those boxes. Our emotional world sometimes collapses into these inanimate belongings because creating meaningful connections with people seems too risky. It might be easier to hold a book than someone’s hand. We avert our eyes from people, but look for a long time at a piece of artwork or our cell phones.

 

We can fill our lives with more of what we really no longer need, use, or want or begin to gently clear away all of this and bring discernment and new awareness to what or with whom we connect. Feng shui invites us to have empowering connections to things, thoughts, people, and experiences. It may be time to be brave and part ways and open space for fresh adventures.

 

Powerful proactive action requires a reframe of our past stories, clarity about what we really desire for our lives, and the commitment to make it happen no matter what. This action also may require us to shift out of a powerless or victim mentality and into one of being able to respond, to take full responsibility.

 

Taking action requires becoming comfortable with being uncomfortable as we stretch and grow. It involves taking risks and walking with our fear and our passion. It’s uncomfortable stepping into an uncertain future without boxes and belongings and that soul-sucking relationship or job or activity. Sometimes a deep desire to be free, to be unencumbered brings inspiration to fuel the action. We can walk through an obstacle course to make it happen. Clearing clutter can become a labor of love, a passionate stand for clarity, and an Oh What the Heck Nothing Else has Worked, I’ll Go For It Anyway.

 

As Patanjali states it, “When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bonds: You mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction, and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormant forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be.”

 

What would it be like to be as close to clutter-free as you can be? Can you begin to imagine the open space, time, freedom, less burdened heart, and clearer mind? What would have you jump out of bed in the morning or have you so excited that you could hardly fall asleep at night? What do you love doing or creating more than anything else in the world? Your heart often holds the truth about what this purpose or project is. Listen closely to your heart. It won’t lead you astray.

 

When we know that a fabulous vacation is around the corner we take urgent and purposeful actions to complete tasks and clear our desks. When our actions are a contribution to a cause more important than our self-doubts, we swiftly act. We rise to the occasion of being generous when we know that our contributions make a positive difference for others. We will do what it takes.

 

Know that clearing away what no longer supports you or maybe never did can take weeks or months depending on how long and how much you’ve stashed or collected. It takes courage to have those conversations regarding the relationships and activities in your life that need to be gracefully set free.

 

I wish you deep and enduring peace as you take those gentle actions to clear your space and life of all these forms of clutter as best as you can in this moment. May liberation be your reward.

 

 

 

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